He is watching over me.....

     What is communication? How to communicate? Where to communicate? And when to communicate? These questions keep turn and turning across my mind....

     For some people, communication is just as easy as ABC123. But for me, it is really a big problem. When I arrived to Melbourne, I was nervours to communicate with people here using my broken english. But what to do? Force to speak, try to translate all words and sentences from chinese to english, sometimes may from malay to english too..... oh god.... how foolish i am.... like an alien among them.....even the lecturers teach in front of the class, I really can't catch what they talking about....too fast, too confusing......

     When time go on and on.....I'm now feel much more better, at least know what is going on, understand what lecturers taught, caught what friends talking about.... Thank God, He is watching me all the time and guide me along His ways....

     But this problem did not end at that point. Recently, I've been told that I really have the problem in communication. Always can't get what other people talking about or understand what others express or feel......

     I was wonder, what's going on? What's wrong with my communication? Is this my fault? oh no..... confusing again......!! (@_@)" What should I do? How to make it difference?

    My thinking is too childish and too narrow. I thought when you wanna to talk with someone or communicate with someone happily, they might not have the same feeling/interest as you are. They may in moody, frustrated, sad....... That's why they can't have a good communication with you. You may not be able to make them happy as what you are or can't even let them feel relax or stressless. If I continue to work in the same way, will only make them feel angry, frustrated with you and ignoring you. If serious, you may have lost the friendship too.

      Of coz, when I heard about this comment, I really feel disappointed, sad and even cried. Becoz I really very concern how other people look into me, no matter it is about good or bad. I know this habit was not good and I am now trying my best to improve myself, so that I can think more positively. But not everything can change immediately. Its need a long period to make the changes. But Im afraid when the time I have improved, friends around me have left no one.... this is what I worry of....and I really don't want this happen in my life. I pray God for His guidance and blessing..... I believe He is watching me and plan for my life.....

As the bible said:

"When you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappionted"

                                                                     

      What I really wish now is to whom the person I have offenced or made angry with..... I ask for their forgiveness. And I felt sorry with everything I have done which sin against you....hopefully this will not affect our friendship.